The Dog

The connection between a boy and his dog is seldom understood.
One day and beautiful black laborador and a whippet were strolling down South Lamar when the whippet suggested that they step into Office Depot to look around. They approached the automatic doors without hesitation and once the doors opened the sauntered in to, one could only guess, window shop. The dogs showed no interest in leaving at closing time. They were will taken care of but had no tags. A dog lover of the extreme type happened to be in the store and demanded that the manager not leave the dogs alone in the parking lot. The dog lover took the whippet and Brad took home the 9 month old male black lab until we had somewhere to take the dog. I was aware of the situation but not the solution. The next morning Brad asked if I had gone in to meet the dog. My opened wide. "Where is the dog?" I asked with a look that could not be perceived as positive. "In the spare room with Sabian" Brad replied gleefully.
With that Brad left for work. When the boys awoke they were filled with excitement as they met our new friend. Sabian, however, did not seem as fond of our guest. Brendan began almost immediately with plots and plans to name him and described the puppies that the Lab and Sabian would have- Labroboxers. "One for me, One for Trevor and One for Connor." Brendan said with natural born sales ability. I explained that we were trying to find the owner because they were probably sad that they had lost their pet. Brendan said he understood, but it was already too late he was becoming attached. He played and cared for the dog most of the day. At approximately 6pm on the way home from our baseball game we received a call that the owners had come home from the Texas OU game to find there gate open and the dogs gone. They were extremely thankful the their pets had been found. The backseat was suddenly silent and the tears began to fall. We asked if Brendan would like to go to help return the dog to his rightful owner. Although we had not quite had the dog 24 hours Brendan was inconsolable on the seemingly long trip to take the dog home. When he arrived home still sobbing I was there to hug and console. I pray that we can all love that uncontrollably and expect nothing in return.

Pack Mentality

A simple sleep over has turned into a living lab to study the dynamics of the pack mentality. The bond of friendship cannot last with multiple subjects simultaneously for more than 10 minutes. At the 10 minute mark the bond between one or more of the subjects is strengthened by some catalyst using an activity involving video gaming. As a result the other bonds between subjects weaken due to lack of energy to sustain all bonds equally. This unstable force can lead to explosions of yelling and crying as the weaker bonds try to regain momentum in the pack. As a pack leader emerges he attempts to get all subjects to go in his direction. Stubborn subjects will be rejected from the pack. The mother and father subjects act as a magnetic force field gently guiding the pack back to stability by using their positive and negative forces to regain a  neutral state. This has been coined the " Good Cop - Bad Cop" phenomenon. We will continue to observe the volatile subjects and report our findings.

Ovarian Cancer Awareness

Did you know that September is Ovarian Cancer Awareness month? Everyone is familiar with the pink ribbon but we need the same awareness for the teal ribbon. Ovarian Cancer is often called the silent killer because it is difficult to detect and many women don't get checked out until too late. This year over 15,000 women in the Unites States will die from ovarian cancer. There are many events organized throughout the year to increase Breast Cancer Awareness. I am chairing the Race for the Cure event for my company this year. It is my hope to raise the same public awareness for Ovarian Cancer. I will keep you up to date on ideas and ask for your support.  I would like to use my mom's love for the Arts as the catalyst  for this project. Please let me know if you would like to get involved.

Wear Your Teal! It's a Big Deal!

KNOW THE SIGNS
Symptoms are often misdiagnosed and could be anything from bloating to abdominal discomfort. Please don't wait and continue to ask questions.
Ovarian Cancer Signs and Symptoms Ovarian cancer symptoms are often subtle and difficult to diagnose. Research suggests there are four symptoms that may be associated with ovarian cancer:

• Bloating
• Pelvic or Abdominal pain
• Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly
• Urinary urgency or frequency

Other symptoms may include:

• Nausea, indigestion, gas, constipation or diarrhea
• Extreme fatigue
• Shortness of breath
• Backaches

Talk to your doctor if symptoms last more than 2-3 weeks. You are your best advocate.

Mid Life Crisis

It's been quite some time since my last post. It's suffice to say life just gets in the way sometimes.
I have 6 months left in my 30s. I'm beginning to think that a mid life crisis in not actually a bad thing. I think it is more like an adrenaline shot to start living life to its fullest.
I am now a brunette, I am going to Metallica in two weeks, I had a jello shot while camping on the river, I am cruising to the Bahamas in November and taking pilates twice a week. I will let you know if blonde's have more fun and make a hair color choice based on this intensive study of social behavior. I've been looking for a name for my brunette alter ego. Any ideas? I don't want to become characature of my previous self, but what's wrong with a little fun.
A tattoo is something that many people break down and get in their mid life crisis. I, however, was properly brain washed as a child-not to mention may healthy fear of needles. A tattoo is kind of like marketing- a brand for your life. So I am working on a Logo and tag line for my life. I'll let you know when the finished product makes it out of production.

Summer Solstice

The days are long and hot. Stress is sticking to me like sweat. I am trying pilates and guided visualization to release the stress. Releasing it doesn't seem to be the problem but keeping at bay is like a crab trying to stay on the beach at high tide, only I bet the crab is cooler. You know it's hot when pool feels like a tepid bath and a swim cap melts on the waterfall.
I am visualizing a cool breeze, a hammock, a good book and children's laughter in the background.
Did I mention it was 107 today and I have bronchitis? Oh I'm sorry I'm supposed to be visualizing. I hear a babbling brook, It is a lovely 72 degrees, I am a fit 125 pounds, I have compliant and selfless children, there is an extra 10,000 dollars in my bank account, Brad has completed all his honey dos. I am not sure this is relaxing me. Oh, I'm supposed to think about all the things I am thankful for! I am thankful for lessons my children teach me everyday about communication, priorities, patience and unconditional love. I am thankful for air conditioners and Ambien.

Where Has all the Music Gone?

My current home project is trying to rip all of my CDs to digital format. I don't really remember the last time a bought a CD or album but I love music. Growing up I was only allowed to tape music from the radio then I started dating a guy who had the BMG membership and he would bring me tapes of ACDC and Ozzy Osbourne. My musical taste was being shaped.
At what point in your life do you stop knowing about new music?
I live in the live music capital of the world but when I hear bands or artists mentioned by name I could not tell you what they sing. I think there is a line drawn in the sand and everything behind the line is classified as my music and everything on the other side is the new stuff. I am trying to determine at what point that line is drawn. I remember my parents talking about the stuff the kids are listening to. I never really identified with the grunge movement in the 90's, give me a glam band any day. The 80's is what I identify with and I like the laid back style of the 70's singers and songwriters. If the music I identify with is in the first two decades of my existence, that's a lot of missed music. Out of touch by 20? That seems extreme but somehow true. You would think that your kids could help you with these new musical discoveries but my kids are listening to Metallica and can sing the choruses to Sweet Home Alabama. I can only hope that they will one day turn the corner and think that they must chart a new course and turn to music as a way to get back at their parents. Let's hope it's not country.

A Comedy of Errors

A funny thing happened on my way to my Birthday Celebration last Friday.
It was a normal Friday at work my friends had bought me a cake but I still had no idea how or if there would be any celebration with my family. At approximately 3pm I get a cryptic text telling me to be home and dressed to leave for dinner at 7pm. Trying to be coy I replied "How Dressed"
I quickly got a "DRESSED" reply. I of course am happy to share this news with the women in my office with the hope of creating some jealousy in good fun. My brain is now focused on what the evening ahead has in store and as a result on my way home I look at the gas gauge and realize I have now been driving on empty for two whole days. I feel a tightening in my stomach but I can see the home stretch and think like a little engine " I think I can, I think I can" I cannot!
I am able to pull my car to the side of the road and begin my trek on foot to the house in my suit.
A fellow baseball mom stops and asks me what I am doing. Although terribly embarrassed, I explained my dilemma. She could have easily mistaken my red glow as being a result of the almost 100 degree temperature outside.
She generously drops at my doorstep. It is at this point I realize I have no house keys or garage door opener since it is in the CAR. (Enter Expletives Here) I dig right down to the bottom of my soul to get in touch with my inner McGyver and approach the back door. Yes, it is locked too, but the dog door has my name all over it. With half of my body inside the house I feel the cool air and think, "Is this how I will spend the last year in my 30s?"
Once inside the house, I quickly run upstairs and into the closet where I am faced with yet more life altering decisions. " What will I wear?" Feeling confident in my selection of an orange sherbet and white polka dot halter dress I am now anxiously awaiting my 7:00 o'clock surprise. It's now 7:15, I turn on the TV because the wait in the quiet house is too much to bare. While watching Clint and Stacy on "What Not to Wear" I become self conscious about my attire choice and reexamine the look in the large mirror in the front room. It is now 7:30- " Why am I all dressed up with no place to go on my Birthday?" 7:40 the phone rings, " Where are you?" Brad asks impatiently. " Where am I supposed to be?" I replied. Brad quickly says, " I'll call you back" and hangs up. I call Brad back 5 minutes later he is eager to get me off the phone and sounds like he's at a bar. I am now thoroughly confused and look out the window think maybe a neighbor was supposed to come get me.
Just then a knock at the door and there is a driver and a black Lincoln Towncar. The driver explains how he got lost and it is his 1st day on the job undoubtedly his last, since our ride was comped. The driver still didn't tell me where we were going but as I helped him navigate downtown my hopes were high for Perry's Steak house. There my husband had the table that overlooked the entire restaurant from the balcony covered with rose petals and my favorite Lobster tempura appetizer waiting for me.
Don't you wish all stories could have a happy ending?

Rabbits Don't Like Rain

I have never really researched why a giant bunny hides eggs to celebrate the rebirth of Christ and why children are forced to devour large chocolate replicas of this bunny. What I do have is first hand knowledge of how to craft a story to explain the large rabbits absence in a torential down pour.
Rabbits don't like rain! I saw the rabbit dash through the backyard spalshing all the way. He dropped a huge basket with all the eggs but just kept going. His ears hung low and fur a tangled mess. I ran out to save the colored eggs scattered on the patio and decided that he must have left them for me to hide inside during the storm. This is why Brendan found me the way he did - hiding eggs amongst the furniture. " Is that really what happed momma?" Brendan asked with a quizzical look. "Are you lying to me?" Brendan continued to question. " I am pretty sure that's what I saw how else would you explain the large basket of eggs?" I retorted. " Yeah! rabbits sure don't like rain do they mom?" and that was that. Harvey would be so proud!

Super Heros

Villain #1 who we will call Connor for this story, comes to me this morning whining, "Mommy, Mommy" while looking down at his hands. After looking down at his hands I whined something else rather loudly. Imagine your cute toddler with hands that look like the Incredible Hulk, no not big and muscular but GREEN, very very green. After a fun jog around the house to find the source of his new found super powers I found it the Kryptonite- Green Food Coloring all over my leather couch. Then KAPOW Brendan stepped on the yellow food coloring sending a stream of what Brendan described as blood all over the slate floors. I felt myself transforming into my own Incredible Hulk character, clothes ripping and veins bulging, although my hue was definitely more red than green. After regaining composure I grabbed the paper towels and water and was able to save the day with no stains except some cute green hands.
Villain #2 who we will call Trevor for this story, is all dressed for T Ball this morning when he politely asks dad to help him with his belt. It is at this point dad realizes that he is really Captain Commando. We had always had suspicions of his double life, but there it was in all its glory. Captain Commando complained about having to take of his pants and shoes to truly become Trevor once again. Dad, our hero, saved the day by explaining why Captain Commando could not go to the baseball fields. Hopefully we have seen the last of Captain Commando!
All in a days work....

Shangri La

There are threads that make up your life that catch up with you ever so often and take you aback. While surfing the Internet last week I found a CD available through Amazon of the music from my favorite childhood movie, Lost Horizon. It is hard to remember while I love this movie so much maybe it was my childhood crush on the Bobby Van, one of the actors in the movie but more likely it was the way in which I watched this movie as a child. I remember when the movie would be on late at night, my dad would wake me up to come watch it with him - kind of like our little secret. Dad has the album of the music and we would blast it in the house while cleaning. As I listened to to CD on the way to work this week all these memories flashed before me and I began to cry- even as I am writing this, tears stream down my face. I don't really know why- these are very happy memories for me - maybe I just miss them.
As I think about the movie it is important to note that this is the 1973 musical version not the 1937 original. Though the 1973 version did not receive critical acclaim I really like the music the lessons taught in the story. It's really all about perspective. Have you lost perspective on what's important? What you have versus others and how to look at the life you have and "Share the Joy" - a song title from the movie. I hope we are all lucky enough to gain perspective and find the Shangri la that already exists in our lives. I will probably write again about this story as I plan to read to the book something I have never had the opportunity to do and share more Lost Horizon wisdom.

Time Off

There is so much to do and so little time to get it all done. I struggle with time off and knowing what to do with it. Last year at this time I took a radical sabbatical to the Spa for 4 days. It was heaven. I was going to try to recreate that experience without the price this year but failed miserably. Between appointments, kids on spring break, and husband's with their own agenda I haven't even picked up a book. Don't get me wrong I have had a good time with the kids but there is something to be said for ME time. I used to feel guilty for wanting it but now I find it necessary to cleanse the soul and be fully engaged with family and work. For whatever reason everything seems to be a priority from cleaning the windows to dentist appointments when I have time off. I think the trick is to go someplace where there are no expectations and you can't be sucked back into the day to day things that slow you down.
Where I work, the amount of time you lose because you didn't take it is worn like a badge of honor. I was genuinely excited when I heard I would be getting another week of vacation a year before my 15th anniversary and am counting down the days until October 4th, but most people said, " Oh just more time that I can't take off." Do we just think that no one can do their job without us or is there somethings else at work here? Is there a lack of fulfillment in our non work lives? At one point in my life I would have identified with that, but now more than ever I am cherishing my time with family and pursuing life experiences that round me out as a person. We are 4 dimensional people after all- Feelings being the 4th dimension.
Wait! Connor is napping, Brendan is playing with friends, and Dad and Trevor are at baseball practice. I must go to the lounge chair with a book fast! See ya...

In Search of Romance

The Websters definition below explains why it is so hard to find

1 a (1): a medieval tale based on legend, chivalric love and adventure, or the supernatural
2 something (as an extravagant story or account) that lacks basis in fact

Since the definition of romance changes by whom you are asking, the chance that you will feel it and then capture it seems like a futile task.

I feel sorry for the man in my life who tries to decipher its meaning only to find out we are speaking different languages. Romance is an idea, its in your mind it is not physical. While romance can certainly lead to physical culmination, it is by itself, not romance.
My Romance requires thought about the other person and an element of surprise. My Romance can be as simple as completing a honey do list in the first attempt to actually putting away your laundry. My Romance is focused on the future and not something that I have to plan myself. My romance generally does not involve NASCAR, however a live sporting event with a foam finger might just fit the bill if the mood is right. It is important to note that the man in my life would like me to mention that he should get points for trying. When they award points for trying in of the various sporting events he is a fan of I will consider it. Until then we are entering spring training camp. Practice, Practice, Practice

Maybe I am just expecting the supernatural!

Start Your Engines

Round and Round what comes around goes around. I tell you why- why
Those of you 80's hairband types might be singing to yourself about now.
Yes I pulled that one Out of the Cellar but this is what I think of during Nascar season.
I am just amazed at the excitement surrounding cars that go in circles, ovals, or even tri ovals for hours on end. For true fans of the sport it's really a 4 day homage to the sport starting with large consumptions of beer, brats and babe watching. It only makes sense that it's the only major sport that begins each race with a prayer with the race fans. God bless their souls. That should be caution flag right there but no out of the pits of the trailer park in the middle of the field, the fans rise again to it all over again.
As for me, the race widow, I am left here to toil with the housework and the raising of 3 young boys. What comes around goes around. The checkered flag will be mine!

Baseball Season

Hey Sports fans its time that time of year again! The all American sport of little league baseball is getting into full swing. We are at the top of the first inning and things on the field are getting a little out of control. Brad is coaching 2 teams this season and we have 2 players that have been drafted and 1 red shirt freshman (Connor). I have officially renamed our humble abode to the clubhouse and believe me after practice it smells like a locker room. We might consider adding on an outside shower. Our players think they have skipped the minors and jumped to show. This is obvious by the way the expect others to pick up and keep track of their personal belongings and equipment. Its bad enough we already have to bathe them.
Brendan has decided that the nickname on the back of his hat should read "Monster" because when he gets up to the plate "he's a MONSTER." We are seriously considering the nickname but for other reasons. Trevor is in his first season of T Ball and is taking it very seriously, this is obvious by the look on his face as he runs the bases. We use the word "run" loosely.
Brad is realizing that is this level of baseball you are coaching the parents (agents) as well as the players. Enough said.
What would we do without the boys of summer? I can't wait to see the Grand Slam.

My Spirited Child

Everyone has an opinion when it comes to the causes of children's behavior. What I find interesting is that for every hypothesis and even theory I can find a contradictory view point. I love my spirited child with all my heart but all this research and advise is messing with my head. We can't even come to an agreement within the family as to what we should do next but I knew I needed to take action. Now that I have taken action I am second guessing that decision. Everyone's opinion is shaded with political view points and previous experiences. I guess I just have to come to terms with the fact that no one is in "my" shoes. While many parents may have similar experiences with spirited children no one has had the same life experience, making a one size fits all solution impossible. That being said, passing judgment should be kept in the recesses of your mind and not readily shared unless asked.
As much as I want my son to feel successful I guess that's all I'm really trying to feel as a parent.
I want to feel comfortable in my shoes.

Shopping with 3 Boys

Who did I think I was this morning? I decided that I should take the boys to the gym and then to the grocery store. The gym trip went off as planned until the sprint to the parking lot. Having just got off the rowing machine, my legs did not move nearly as fast as 6 sets of legs all under 2 feet.
Once everyone was securely tied to the backseat we proceeded to the grocery store. I had not even backed out of the parking space when the questions about where we were going to eat started. It was noon, so although we were undoing all our good works at the gym we drove through Whatburger, the closest place to said grocery. From the backseat I heard "I love Whataburger" then, " I hate Whataburger, can't you take me somewhere else." whines the prince. Since "shut up and eat" was not a valid option I chose to breath deeply and order. The Prince, Brendan, The Pauper, Trevor, and the Court Jester, Connor were all duly satisfied with their noon meal which was served as a car picnic.
We reviewed the rules of the land before entering the grocery store and I was sure there would be peace. I had Brendan pick fruit to add to the basket and he was quite pleased with being able to help. Trevor, who was driving the car basket, then wanted in on the action. Food and various other things were all flying into the basket at lighting speed. Things like Soy Ice cream. Who eats that? After all extraneous things had been removed from the basket a steady stream of "No" was uttered through the 15 or so aisles. The court jester all the while is trying to open the unpurchased groceries as fast as we can take them away from him. I can finally see the finish line. While in line the prince and the pauper take off. I can no longer use the breath deep technique and at the second attempt to wrangle my renegades I yell,"Get your butts back over here now, I'm not afraid to yell at you in the grocery store." Yes the glances from other shoppers made me self conscious but what choice so you have? You are either the mom that's going to lose it or you hear," I can't believe she let's them get away with that." I believe they should offer tall boys in the coolers at the checkout kind of like gas stations.

Bag of Bones

I would like to formally file a complaint with the makers of the human body. While my 1970's model came with many bells and whistles, I have to tell other consumers to be on the lookout for faulty parts. I was told that it had a lifetime warranty. While your body repair shops gave gotten better over the years, after 30 years, more visits are necessary than I have time for. Obviously I have only used a little over 1/3rd of the life expectancy for this product. I am hereby invoking the lemon law and expect to be issued a new model as soon as possible. Should a new model not be available, a complete overhaul on the chassis will be required immediately. Please do not make me take up this matter with your supervisor.

Painfully Yours,
K

Unsettled

Have you ever gotten a wild hair and decided that everything in your house suddenly needs to be somewhere else? This was my Sunday!
The cable company called because we wanted to add an outlet in our bedroom on the opposite wall. We were not expecting that appointment until next Sunday. Within 30 minutes my nice relaxing Sunday morning with Baileys and Coffee was suddenly turned into a whirlwind of epic proportions.
The very large entertainment center needed to be dismantled in the living room because that TV was going to the newly installed outlet in the bedroom. Brad sprinted out to blow 2500.00 on a new flat screen for the downstairs and a cool remote that controls everything including the weather. The mammoth entertainment center was so big it had to be laid down on its side to be taken to the garage. The current 500 lb bedroom television had to be taken downstairs. Our nice neighbors came over to help us remove this state of the art 2001 television from the house. Bonus they decided to buy it for their playroom. Minus their playroom is up a steep set of stairs. As the 2 brave muscular men made their way upstairs the dolly strap slipped and 500 lbs of technological wonderment was almost certainly going to die or kill someone trying. In an feat of heroism fed by an adrenaline rush, Brad was able to single handedly save the monstrosity and our neighbor. Margaritas were then a must as we rushed off to Maudies . Once home again it was time for round 2. In our bedroom alone we moved a dresser, a large armoir, a couch and a king size bed. All in a days work. Nothing that 2 Aleve and a dip in the hot tub can't overcome. The next time you think I am getting bored or complacent please direct me back to this blog immediately.

Searching for Mary Poppins

While childcare for my 3 boys continues to be ongoing saga, I thought that I would write about the process. When searching for a nanny you must first decide what you want. Deciding what you want is harder than it sounds. What role will the nanny play? Mother, Grandmother, Big sister, Wicked step mother, or employee. With each of these role comes advantages and disadvantages. Then comes the selection process. It's like an opportunity to interview a future family member and you can only hope to make that determination in an hour or so but whatever decision you make can have far reaching consequences.
You come to expect more out of the nanny than you expect from yourself as a mother and if they can't live up to that fantasy in you head, somehow you have failed. This is very unfair to both the nanny and the mother and causes inner turmoil and guilt. Childcare is one of those topics that wasn't really discussed during my first pregnancy and I think that I just thought that it was really a non issue. I was so wrong. You only have a limited amount of time to shape the clay God has blessed you with and if your hands cannot be used you must examine and the new potters hands for firmness, gentleness, cleanliness and very few stress lines. My clay has a mind of its own and needs hands that are willing to shape with gentle hands as the wheel turns but not be discouraged if the masterpiece falls in on itself.

Book Club

I love my book club! In my book club there is very little talk of the antagonist, protagonist, foreshadowing or even plot development. While the books we read have these things, we seem to discuss these elements as they relate to our own lives.
There are no expectations from this group of women, in fact I don't them personally very well at all. Yet last night I felt very connected to these women as we told our stories of various events that had taken place over the holidays. Though last month's book was Stephen King's, The Body our discussions were light and full of laughter. We discussed the child that got naked during a play date when playing dress up, the boy who colored various body parts with a permanent marker, and my favorite, the evangelical father in law wearing a Hawaiian shirt covered in pot leaves, that of course he thought was just tropical foliage.
Our book club is definitely full of characters and I can't wait to see how these characters and the denouement plays out. I can only hope that each one of us is blessed with our own deus ex machina.

High Hopes

What will we do with next 364 days? I sometimes have a hard time figuring out what I am going to do in the 364 minutes. I can feel my internal list of expectations getting longer by the minute. Some of these expectations have actually existed much longer than the previous 365 days. What will make 2009 "the" year to have all those expectations fulfilled?
I sometimes wish that I could follow Brad's lead on how he deals with life. He is much more responsive. He doesn't worry about what will happen he only responds to what is happening. I think he has mastered living in the moment. I am more about forcing the moment and if the moment doesn't happen the way I have it pictured in my head then I must have missed something in the planning or execution. I've got it! 2009 will be the year of being.
I must start a list on what it takes to "be" and make sure there is a time line to measure the success of my being.
This might be harder than I thought.